Being with someone means snapping at them when you're in a foul mood and they need to understand that. That said, you should apologize, as much for yourself as for them.
But why can't you say what you're afraid of and what you'd like to hear when you apologize? "H, I overreacted yesterday because I was in a foul mood and distracted with other things. Please don't take what I said personally. I feel bad because this happened at a time when things are fragile between us, but it also scares me to apologize like this since I feel you haven't appreciated my vulnerability in doing so in the past. What would really help me would be if you responded in this manner, but I also need to understand how you're feeling right now. Can you tell me?"
I mean, that's off the top of my head and it's definitely headed down R-talk lane. It's vital to not have every single interaction be about R, but just be some relaxing, connecting times. But do you think that approach might work?
