Full disclosure works for some people. But there can be a downside to it also. When one person confesses their wrongdoings to the other, the burden of the wrongdoing is lifted from the person who confesses onto the other person. That doesn't make it go away. The offender now feels better for confessing, but the innocent spouse feels terrible. The real question is: does that help?
But what if he found out there was contact on his own...or better yet what if he already knows. I think lying (even by omission) is much worse. IMO, the outcome will be much worse if he finds out on his own than if he is honestly told what happened. In my case, the lying hurt much worse than what was actually being done....again just how I felt.
