Full disclosure works for some people. But there can be a downside to it also. When one person confesses their wrongdoings to the other, the burden of the wrongdoing is lifted from the person who confesses onto the other person. That doesn't make it go away. The offender now feels better for confessing, but the innocent spouse feels terrible. The real question is: does that help?
Those were my thoughts exactly--why I said I agreed about not telling your H. I mean if it was my H, I'd rather not know (although I'm sure there are some that would want to know) and just have him resolve/commit to have 100% no contact in the future. I think your H's been through so much already! Karen
