why am I so damn insecure? why do I feel like no one really likes me? why can't I just be me and accept that people are people and it doesn't matter who is friends with who and who talks to who...these questions are arising in no relation to h what so ever. it is not easy to be at home all day with your kids...knowing that there are others in your neighborhood who are also at home all day with kids but just don't bother to spend time.
when I first moved into this house son was 15months old..we'd walk down the driveway to get the mail...would see the neighbors and say hello...I'd be going for a walk and stop at the neighbors to see if she wanted to join..she most always did...she was always friendly but never knocked on my door. time went by I got preg with dd...stayed home a bit more but still on occasion when son would want to wander down to neighbors to play with the kids would stop by..for the most part the mother would stay inside...now she's friendly with another at hom mom from down the street...they both stay inside the house together while the kids play in the yard..I sometimes let son go down to play with the kids...on occasion dd and I go down as well...the h is outside on occassion and says hello, is friendly neighborly etc..the mother stays inside..even when she knows I'm there..she stays inside..today both mothers stayed inside. it just bugs me. what would it take to pop out for a second and say hello to your neighbor??? am I just making more of something then there is...they do know of my sit as they do live right next door and a few times I did go there in tears needing to not be alone...am I again in life taking things too personally?? I wish I didn't care...I wish I knew what people thought of me.
I've been thinking of having a street party (we live on a culdisac) inviting all the neighbors over for a cookout...but wonder if people can't or don't come how will I feel about it...I don't know...I just don't know..then there's the chance that if people do come they will think we've just invited them over to show off (the yard is the talk of the street) but that isn't the case...I want to know my neighbors.
