Good or Bad! Ha. You're kidding, right? You got the lovely, smiley eyes and gooey insides and you weren't anywhere near the bedroom (uh, not that a bedroom is necessary, but you know).
I wish I could understand the "distance". But you got through for a while and previously you said that the only time he wasn't distant was in bed. Soooo. Hmmm. Is it possible you've been putting up too big a wall in front of him?
See the thing about DBing is doing what works. Most people advise to detach, be happy, etc. That is what is best for the S that ends up on these boards, no doubt, but in my sitch, (and I hardly ever suggest someone else do it my way), I was already living my life (while he worked to pay for it),going on trips with the girls, letting his complaints about work and most everything else just roll off my back.
He'd come home from a hard day at work and complain about his job. I didn't listen anymore. I'd say something flip like, "Everyone has to work. There's a support group for this problem and they meet at the bar."
But hey, I was supportive. LOL. He started hanging out at the bar instead of coming home and I hated that so I went and got a job bartending at his favorite watering hole. I got to wait on him and everything! I thought I was so darn clever. He didn't.
There wasn't much to argue about, I'd trained myself years before to hold back the tears and accept that I couldn't change him.
He wanted my attention.
He got it.
He wanted me to fight for him. I'd always told him (in many ways)that I wouldn't. That was before I had to. Surprise. I loved my husband.
The biggest 180 I did was pack up my car and drive 1500 miles, without telling him, just to see his face. I showed up on his job site (that wasn't on a map) because I couldn't go to the apartment he shared with ow.
The rest is history.
Obsessed much? I love being obsessed with my husband again.
