That's the way she's been allowed to express herself within her family and it works for her, people tend to just roll their eyes and say "Oh, it's just the way W is ". In any R or friendship for her, she has to be the one in control or she cuts the other person off, simple as that. I've seen her do it with her parents, her brother, her b/f, other friends and of course now me. I remember when we were first dating and I heard the way she spoke to her parent I told her that I wouldn't accept her talking to me like that. It worked for a while but then I always found we were fighting over a matter a principle rather that getting things done.
Recently I chatted with SIL and she says it really annoys her when she sees people back down to W and allow her to get her own way all the time. Funny thing, only last week I saw BIL having a rant about something or nothing and SIL just said to him "talk to me in a civil manner or I won't listen to you" BIL soon calmed down and they sorted things out, but he's a more laid back character to W. I thought to myself that's how I should react with W, but in reality when I do this with W we end up not speaking to each other as we've done in the past.
I've it here mentioned before if W would stop shouting or talking to me like I'm a POS, generally modify her behaviour things would feel a whole lot better, I wouldn't feel like I've done somthing wrong or we've gone off track again. But that just seems to be the way she is, 44 years old, still addicted to drama, still acting like a spoiled child, still wanting to get her own way. I think you called this one early on saying somthing like W needed counselling but thats on her list of will not do items.
But in general I do feel hopeful, but W is really, really hard work to deal with, but now I see things alot more differently so I'm better placed to handle her drama's.
