DB doens't mean you let her get away with murder. She should not be able to go unchecked and bring more debt that affects you. When my stbx left I was hurting and aching to have him back, but nevertheless I protected myself and got his names off my credit cards and separated the finances (well, not before he took all our savings)
You don't want to rock the boat, but finances should be talked about, this is about your livelihood and about you working hard for money she might be squandering. There is nothing wrong with getting your own checking acct and making her responsible for whatever bills you two have together, as it is she lives who knows where, she should be responsible for her bills, not you!
Back then, stbx charged a few things on the card to get him set up in his new place. I added up his buys and told him how much he owed me, he was po'd and told me there was no money, I told him there was no way I was going to pay for his stuff. Was I aching to have him back? YES, was I going to let him step over me? NO He paid me the next day.
Dont' be afraid of rocking the boat, if she doesn't like it, what's the worst that can happen? she already left and she isnt' going to MC anymore. So she gets angry that you dont' let her live like a non-responsible teenager, about time! she is a grown woman and needs to come back to reality, she is getting into debt because she is counting on your $ to bail her out. Let her sleep on the bed she made.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
