I asure everyone..I may live in the sticks...but I am no redneck! actually I grew up in that lil town...the home of that ivy leage college everyone in the world knows the name of...you know..their color is maroon.
anywho...back to my drama...
things are still going along nice..h seems ever more present...but I still lay in a fog.
it's not so much a wall of protection as it is simply a fog of not knowing what is truth and what is not...what is real and what is simply perceived...
I'm confused by these feelings...
things can go along great and then I awake wondering..thinking to myself...hmmmm...he always did kiss me goodbye as I slept..even when he was deeply entrenched in his r with her...he still came to me and kissed my forehead before leaving for work.
so then I sit and think...how will I know..what do I know...what is happening to me...to us...oi!
then I sit and think..well...he did that still even then because he did always love me..did always care (ok so while we were seperated I got no kiss and no hug but that was different)
I start emt course this week...two nights a week...I probably wont see h...he will most likely be asleep by the time I get home those nights.
