No answers this post, just some reenforcement of what Bagheera was saying. He generally manages to get his point accross quite well. Your husband will need to find a very good counselor who is experienced in dealing with people who have been molested. I have watched a very good friend of mine go through this with his son, who was molested by a babysitter years ago. The effects of that event still reverberate through his life and his responses have been close to your husband's.
But, as a note of encouragement, the "real" husband you have is the one post conversion, not pre. Yes, it turns out he has some serious baggage to work through, but now you are begining to get a true picture of what that is. As I said before, you have a two front war and both require victory. Your marriage and sex life are one, his dealing with his abuse, the root of his sexual issues is the other. This is going to require some understanding, not pity, on your part to help him get through it all. These issues really lie at the root of how he feels about himself as a man. This will be a long term project.
I bow to whatever additional wisdom or correction some of the more experienced posters submit.
