focussing on the good stuff!!

[sage]

" I love you too, and I ordered an octogon table and may be able to bring it home tonight"

This is so cool, LL. It goes beyond the love language of "gifts" don't you think? h "heard" you articulate a need/want and figured out a way to meet it...

now if I could just accept that life is good and I am safe with h!

You're doing this more and more and more and more often!

I love how happily h worked around the house yesterday -- spending time with you and your family but also getting things "done". He seems to be a man who places a lot of his self-esteem/valuation on his accomplishments. Sounds like you did a great job of appreciating him, too!

Have a fun "hanging out" night!

Sage

[lostlove]

I love how happily h worked around the house yesterday -- spending time with you and your family but also getting things "done". He seems to be a man who places a lot of his self-esteem/valuation on his accomplishments. Sounds like you did a great job of appreciating him, too!

I love how happy he was too!!
I amaze myself with how happy I can be just letting him be happy.
in the past I would have been annoyed...wanting him to stop working...wanting him to "play" with us...wanting him to do "my thing" what a goof I was...I had a man who loved to be home...and took pride in making his home the best it could be and I was so misserable when he was doing it that I sent him the wrong message.
I tell h often how great the yard looks...how hard he works...how much I appreciate all he does...

though I always did admire h for starting his business on his own..how it grew..how great he was at what he did...because it took time away from ME I resented it...in resenting his business I resented him...see that's where ow had one up on me...she could admire his work..validate him and not feel like it was taking anything away from her. I now know better..

I keep being drawn back to one of the last conversations I had with ow..where she said "you are stronger than I am (followed by a whole lot of passive aggressive crap I'll leave out)" funny thing is...it's not about strength so much as it is about wisdom!! I truly pitty her ignorance!! but I digress...

LL

[Teach]

LL,

Thanks for checking out my thread. I haven't had much time to be on the boards lately, but I'm so glad you decided not to give up! I hope you enjoy your table!
Jill

[RandyH]

LL Great news and great work,keep it up.You are an inspiration to us all.

[jethro]

Hey LL.

let me know that he always cared about me..always...and that said something to him...let me know that it was ME that he cared about...it wasn't just the kids.

That rocks!

now my LL isn't gifts...but h's is...

Ha...ha...funny. This sentence messed me up until I realized "LL" meant love language and not you!

Man, lots of stuff being said the last few days, my dear... Good for you and your H...

jethro

[JimFromBoston]

LL,

Glad that today seems to find you well.......I knew you had a great guy there! My life is taking interesting turns. Read my thread....

Take care!

Jim

[TonyP]

LL,

Don't ask me why, but my cousin just sent me this, and I thought of you!

You know you're a Redneck when . . .

You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You think the "Nutcracker" is something you did off the high dive.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

The biggest city you've been to is Walmart.

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.

You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

And last, but not least...

Somebody tells you there is something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!

Just thinking of you!

[lostlove]

I asure everyone..I may live in the sticks...but I am no redneck! actually I grew up in that lil town...the home of that ivy leage college everyone in the world knows the name of...you know..their color is maroon.

anywho...back to my drama...

things are still going along nice..h seems ever more present...but I still lay in a fog.

it's not so much a wall of protection as it is simply a fog of not knowing what is truth and what is not...what is real and what is simply perceived...

I'm confused by these feelings...

things can go along great and then I awake wondering..thinking to myself...hmmmm...he always did kiss me goodbye as I slept..even when he was deeply entrenched in his r with her...he still came to me and kissed my forehead before leaving for work.

so then I sit and think...how will I know..what do I know...what is happening to me...to us...oi!

then I sit and think..well...he did that still even then because he did always love me..did always care (ok so while we were seperated I got no kiss and no hug but that was different)

I start emt course this week...two nights a week...I probably wont see h...he will most likely be asleep by the time I get home those nights.

LL

[TonyP]

I start emt course this week...two nights a week...I probably wont see h...he will most likely be asleep by the time I get home those nights.


In the basement, on the couch, or in your bed? Sounds like you could have some fun!

LL,

Good luck at emt classes! AND quit worrying, everything is going to be OK. Worrying causes grey hair!

[lostlove]

In the basement, on the couch, or in your bed? Sounds like you could have some fun!

more likely than not he will be asleep in my "our" bed (he's stopped refering to it as "your" room and now calls it our once again) so tell me tony...if h is asleep when I get home...how will I have fun??? he is not the wakeable kind...at least not all the time.

AND quit worrying, everything is going to be OK. Worrying causes grey hair!

I don't know why I worry...don't know where it comes from anymore...I worried before all this about different things..and now my worry is that he will leave..or that he wont leave but will look her up again..or that he was supposed to be with her and not me..or that monkeys might fly out my butt!! I'm an aquarius I'm supposed to live in my head.

LL