Well, I guess you can tell by my last post I'm not doing too good tonight! I sure hope he is thinking about me even if it is guilt!!!! I don't know how you couldn't think of someone after you have been with them all these years.
I don't know why that night popped in my head but you are right, I've got to stay away from those thoughts!!! I haven't read "The Prodigal's Perspective", I'll have to do that!!
I will try to think good thoughts & the things I want to happen!!
I hope you are feeling better today. I know how difficult it must be for you. You have been so strong throughout all this.
H has to be thinking about you! The two of you spent so many years together and have many wonderful memories that can never be erased. You are in my thoughts, nlt.
HUGS!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thank you for checking in on me & for the vote of confidence!! I guess I am better today, I just feel really tired, but I think that goes along with depression. I've been doing some work on one of my clients so that has kept my mind off H some. I'm afraid that he will hold a grudge b/c I got the house & alimony. He hated his first wife & she didn't get alimony or the house, just child support. He also told me she had an affair. But he didn't really love her. He told me he didn't know what love was until he met me. He was only married to her 5 years & had one son by her. But he spent his whole life hating her. He told me the night he cussed me out that if I didn't give him a reasonable D that he wouldn't have any respect for me. Well, I know he thinks I didn't give him a reasonable D b/c he wanted to split everything in half. He didn't get much cash out of the deal & what he got all went to attorney's.
I know, I'm worrying about it but I know how he was about his 1st wife & how bad he talked about her. But she was manipulative & I wasn't & we were together 18 years total, so I don't know. I'm sure this OW is more manipulative than his first wife, she proved that by sending me a thank you for my H!!
I hope since he is in MLC now & he wasn't when he D'd first wife that he won't hate me like he hated her, she was mean & I wasn't but of course he hasn't seen that, he thinks I used him. He doesn't know what being used is but I have a feeling he may be finding out, I think the OW will use him, if not yet she will soon. I hope so anyway & I'm praying for the circle of thorns around him & that he will feel the guilt & think about me!!
Thanks for your thoughts, I sure do need them now!!!
