What's that about ll? That waiting for failure? Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down, it could have as much to do with what we ate as the circumstances surrounding our thoughts.
You WILL never know what happened between ow, even if H tells you the whole story, you still weren't there and wont be able to accept the whole story as whole. Why does it matter so much, too? Being married doesn't give any of us "ownership" over anyone.
What I'm trying to say (and I send tons of gentle wishes with it) is that you can obsess about what H did with or felt for OW all you want. It wont solve anything at all. It'll attack your own self esteem because you'll be comparing yourself to what you think OW was all about for H... what you think H wanted... not what H really wanted, but your imagination.
You can give it up. You can give H up. or You can live in doubt forever.
