now I have been counting h's ventings about his customers as a positive...he's letting me in on some of what stresses him out...but as I sit and listen to him vent...I'll admit I do start to wonder...I start wondering is this what he talked about to ow?? is this what she listened to all the time...is there a happy side to h...is there a side to h that isn't complaining about work and customers and appointments and employees and the weather and not having enough time in the day?? or is this simply what she enjoyed?? he complained about work and she complained about her illness and that made each of them happy???
I'm worried about h...he's been burning himself out with his business since he was 19 and now even though he doesn't express it he's stressing himself out because of our sit...and the fact that he works so much he doesn't have enough time with the kids...sheesh some times he doesn't even see dd..as he leaves before she wakes and is often down for the night by the time he gets home...(this morning I recall him asking if he could go and give her a kiss...I couldn't let him...it was early (5:30am) and she was still sleeping (heck I was still sleeping) and if he woke her she may start the day grouchy...I feel bad about saying no but wtf...if you miss seeing her then find a way to get home before her bed time!!! (of course I didn't say that)
I guess I'm still stuck wanting to know what their r was truly all about...
I recall in c when c was trying to explain to h that I have my "idea" about how he was with her and now expect that he can be that way so I want him to be that way with me...h's response..."half of what she thinks was going on wasn't going on"
I don't know...I guess I'm just looking for h to "shoot the sh!t" a bit more...relax...sure I don't mind being a venting board and hearing about his woes with his customers...but I'd like to also have back that fun guy who can laugh and forget about his woes from time to time...I know he's in there and I've got myself convinced that that is the only side of h that ow ever saw.
I dunno.
ok here goes...I'll give the three positives a whirl and see if I can't get out of this slump.
1. snuck off and got a haircut yesterday...(mil was visiting so she watched the kids)
2. it's not raining today
3. I'm good enough! I'm smart enough! and gosh darn it...people like me!!
ok maybe later I'll be serious about the positives
