in limbo and an emotional mess...

[MAZ]

hi sugar, ah been better,, haven't really talked to H much the last few days, I feel like every day that passes he slips further and further away from all the positive things just a few weeks ago,,, he still hasn't stopped here not at night anyway, my 15 y/o said he stopped by yesterday for about 5 minutes in the afternoon other than that he hasn't seen the kids all week either. H called this morning and said he wants to take me and the boys out to dinner saturday nite but we'll see what happens with that, asked him what his plans were for sunday and got the I don't know,, so told him well it is fathers day you know,,, got the "oh it is", I'm sure OW will plan something for that day because her 8 y/o is actually H's godson, so if he chooses to spend time with them rather than his own kids I think that'll about do it for me. I haven't called him or anything and he has called just twice all week. Haven't seen him since last thursday and doesn't even seem to phase him,, he acts like he has no time to stop here or that I am never home, tonite our 15 y/o had a baseball game and he said he would probably come to watch it "with us", of course he never showed or had the decency to call, I'm starting to lose any last bit of hope that he will be coming home and even worse I don't know that I can believe anything he says anymore, the more he's with her the more he lies. I just don't know what to do about this whole thing anymore,,, I don't want to give up but I can't fight for something I don't even get to see anymore...we'll see what the weekend holds i guess... thanks for checking in, i'll keep you posted-- I hope all is ok with you as well.