it seems h has been right all along...I am fine for a few days and then get sucked into neg feelings over again...
I wonder why that trend is??
it does seem to me that the neg feelings are not as neg as time goes by but the fact that they are still there is bothersome to me.
I don't want to live in constant fear that I'm being manipulated or that the wool was truly pulled over my eyes..new questions come to me during each neg phase...new questions that I don't want to ask..because h just doesn't want to talk about it anymore...I suppose he's right...as it seems the more I know the more neg I feel...I know enough now to wallow with I don't really need more.
I just wish that I could trust it all...is this real??
one of my friends is a realtor and knows of ow's house (ok ok so I asked her to take a look and see if she's using a realtor as well as ismh.com...she's not..but anyway..one of friends co-workers was driving around and saw the fsbo sign...saw the ow...and ow offered to make an appiontment to show the house to her...this person knows nothing of me or the sit...they think the house is over priced...would be my impression that it has not yet sold...grrrr..but at least is still being sold!
I still have visions of punching ow in the face...just for fun!!
things with h seem to be going very well...he's talking more and more about work and his day...customers and employees etc.
I just wish I could get hypnotized and erase this past year and a half from my mind...I don't want to live with the bad memories...
ok back to the positives.
1. I found a border for the master br and put it up yesterday and last night....while on the step ladder h walked by and squeezed my calf.
2. searched through wallpaper books and found border for dd's room...now I just have to figure out how do get her room painted and what not?? I usually do such things while she's napping or down for the night, maybe I can set her up in the spare room??
3. dd woke early yesterday morn...before h left (ugh 530am) h had hoped she do the same this am..she didn't, so at 7am I had her call him...he was happy...then at 8ish h called me to thank me for having her call...he really appreciated it and wanted to let me know so.
4. an awful lot of thank you's and I appreciate this or that's going around lately (in both directions)
5. maybe we are getting somewhere. (I'd just like an obituary for ow now! even if just one from h's heart)
