This thread while it has gotten a little out of hand is not a bad thing. I think it will be a good measuring stick to measure yourselves against in a few months and then a few years perhaps.
I myself found it to be a learning experience b/c there is nothing that has been said on this thread that I didn't hear in my group five years ago.
It takes time to heal from a D. It takes time to get past that vunerable stage. Our individual feelings are more easily hurt during this stage. We also tend to get emotionally involved more easily with people that empathize with our D experiences during this post D phase. And you cannot see that from where you stand today - you see it in hindsight. Every single one of us makes choices based on our state of mind at that time. And everyone single one of us has times when out state of mind colors our perspective and sometimes we make some not so great choices.
It really isn't about good or bad or judgement. It is about every person having to find their own way in life in their own way.
My group disbanded over hurt feelings just like this 5 years ago. I myself was very hurt and very angry. There were EA's/PA's, almost but not quite EA's/PA's, one sided EA's or PA's that meant more to one person than the other. I hope that does not happen to this group. You seem to have forged some strong bonds. I hope you will all be able to be able to put this all into perspective - things have been said b/c of heightened emotional states. I hope ou will allow things to settle a few days and see if you can get past it.
DB'ing doesn't just apply to WAS or dating - it applies to every single R in your life.
