The Ultimatum

[fooled again]

cat,

did he say he would agree on having a convo with ow and you?

Yes, in fact he agreed to set up a meeting w/ OW so that she can pick up her stuff from his place and I would be there too. That's when he's going to tell her again "no contact, ever, forever" (he says he told her in a text message already, but that also happened last Oct). I asked H a couple of days later if he could really do that and he said "It's the only way." I said that I agreed.

If he said "No" to the meeting, then it would be over right then and there. If he doesn't go through with it, or thinks he can delay until I stop asking, then it's over. This is my first condition, the one upon which everything else hinges.

It has been nearly one week since I gave him the Utimatum. I have asked him a couple of times about the meeting, and he says he will set it up soon. I believe that I have made it clear that until that happens, there will be no progress wrt our R. I told him I would book time off work for the meeting. I think he's procrastinating b/c he doesn't know what to expect from OW, and what man wants his W and the OW in the same room together? But I want to get it over with so we can get on w/ our lives.

H has been giving me clear signals that he wants to get closer & spend more time together and he's been hinting about ML. I responded that we would have to see. I'm on the fence about that since it would be a huge 180 for me not to ML soon. I do want him to know that I still want him sexually and that connection has always been very strong and very important for us, but on the other hand, I said that my conditions had to be met in order for us to move forward. Maybe a month or two w/out might be good for both of us, and remind him even more of what he stands to lose. He had been cake eating for a very long time...

there comes a point when peace is totally welcome even it the outcome wasn't what we originally wanted

You can say that again, sister

FA