re reading that that sounds like a self pitying idiot sorry about that, yes I have been lazy and unfocused and yes I have put on a lot of pounds right now I am trying to find a focus and reason but that could be months developing who knows I just wanted to vent I think, I dont know why the change has been so dramatic but as we know I either will or may never find out the whole truth I am told I am a great friend by her but this seems like a crisis thats happening to her not me, she seems to be looking for some missing thing that will make her complete she has started a number of groups on the internet ? looking to move out to rid her of her old home running away from me or her? one things for sure I am not in the plan right now
