Hey Puppy. I always look forward to a post from you! I guess I am struggling with HOW to make it more difficult.
There are lots of different ways, but it needs to be SOMETHING. And that is, something other than angry/pissy/pouty/shouting from you (not saying you've even done that). There has to be real, honest-to-goodness CONSEQUENCES to his decision to carry on an affair under your nose.
How about changing the locks while he's gone, and leaving his stuff out in the garage?
Have you considered exposure?
Have you shifted your demeanor toward him to one of a business partner or roommate?
These are all debatable, but it needs to be something. Something other than "gee, I hope you'll choose me."
In my own sitch, I:
- confronted my wife, letting her know I knew all about her affair, and that it needed to stop -- NOW -- as it was disrespectful to me, our marriage and our family;
- exposed her affair immediately to our two adult daughters (D21, D18);
- exposed her affair to her employer, since it was taking place at work and they both worked there;
- exposed the affair to OM's parents, my wife's parents, and hers and my siblings;
- stopped paying for her cellphone, tummy tuck, make-up, hair coloriong and lingerie;
- immediately distanced myself into "Joe Friday" mode -- "just the facts, ma'am." I was polite and civil, but the intimacy and friendship of husband-and-wife was immediately changed;
- I sought a legal consultation, and let her know that I had.
They have to feel it, in my opinion.
Now, WHILE I did all that, I also began DBing -- GAL (joined a softball team, started working out, meeting buddies for beers 1x/week, etc.), doing 180s, making myself the better choice, etc. But as I DID those things, she definitely knew that I was emphatically NOT going to enable her affair in any way whatsoever.
