"The problem with H is that on so many occasions I was pushing myself and hating every minute of it with him"
Good God woman! This is almost the worst thing you could say to a man! (or if he figures out how you feel) This is basically asking him to cut off his member and throw it in the bin! If my wife told me this or I thought this, I would either slit my wrists or leave!
Sorry for the rant, but I want you to understand how critical this is. I am at a loss for a female equivelant.
At the risk of sounding crude, what cues are you giving him during the act that it is no longer forced?
For a man, this is huge. There are a number of very uncomplimentary terms among men for women who are non paticipatory or non reactional during the event. A man can not feel like a winner in bed unless the partner is giving some feedback suggesting she is enjoying his attentions. Faking is totally out here as well. Same as lying and far more damageing when it is found out.
My wife frustrates me greatly during sex. I know she doesn't fake, but she is grumpy and always acts frustrated when providing feedback during. Most guys really don't mind some correction, in the right manner. It further indicates that you are interested in and enjoying the process. It would be like having the wife come home with the Kama Sutra and saying "Let's try all this stuff, and I got beer!" No higher form of seduction..
Just some thoughts. I don't really have many answers, but I can provide some perspective from the other side.
