Quoting lostlove: friendship with ow terminated? but is still a customer till her house sells and she moves away?
This is the hard one, right? It just sucks that he's still "seeing" her, right? I know it does (did) for me.
LL do you remember my epiphany about my understanding and accepting that what she did/does is really none of my business? I have been living that concept for months now, and it really works. In fact, I've articulated it to W,and she actually protests that it IS my business, and she has been making sure that she informs me of what she does. Meanwhile, I continue to make it none of my business, in that I truly have no control of what she does, and if she chooses to have contact with him, I can't change that --- only she can. I can hope that her respect for my wishes will lead to her limiting contact. I can hope that he will fade away. But it's none of my business.
This has worked for me.
Today, I found that she's begun reading "Surviving an Affair" again (she saw me reading it from the library, and asked that I buy a copy so she might read it... Then it sat). I see little evidence that she's having planned (social) contact with OM. When she does, she lets me know. I suppose I'm getting a lot here, as much as I gnash my teeth whenever he's around, but I'm getting honesty. I'm getting some respect. I can only hope she will give more, I can only make things safe for her to trust me enough to respect me more.
You're doing great, LL. EMT, huh? I was thinking of joining the local volunteer fire dept and doing the same thing. Howzit going?
