I can related to where you are coming from. I use to be a very active DB socialite at one time and saw much of what you have said. I use to agree with what you have posted. And in part ran away from the DB social scene b/c it upset me. And I myself dated a fellow DB'er and it was a huge disaster.
Now five years later I have a little different take on this.
Different people follow different paths in life. We are all adults and part of being an adult is the freedom to choose an learn in your own way at your own pace. These days I am more about letting people do what they will and figure things out for themselves. Sometimes I find people learn more about life when they experience it themselves. I am happy for my friends if I am wrong and there to support them if I am right.
I reserve my soapbox for occasions where someone is placing themselves in danger or exposing their children to their post D issues.
