How on earth do you people do it? I'm dreading him leaving Monday ,and at the same time feel like it might be my only chance. I need to stop crying, reasoning, pointing out all the good. Last night he said all I do is lay the guilt on him, and he's sick of it.

What I said was "I'm sorry, I don't intend that with what I say" but what I WANTED to yell was... "YEAH, fell guilty you BASTARD, and look at what the hell you are doing. This is not all about YOU. Look at these girls, look at me."

How can he say he has 80% of everything he has ever wanted, and HAD 100%, yet it's just not going to happen.

I'm getting to the mad stage now, and I don't like it. On one hand I think it will make it easier for me to detach, but on the other hand I'm scared I'm going to get to a point that if he comes back ready to try, I'm going to be so hurt by everything he has done, that I will then be done.

I can't imagine it, but I can't imagine ANY of what is happening right now.

Chris

__________
Me:39
H:39
D:8
D:4
M:9 (T 13)
Bomb 4-5-08, H moved out 6-16-08,
Reconciled and H moved back in 5-31-09
Still doing GREAT a year later!!!