I think you just answered your own question. You already know most of what to do, but I have to ask, what happened to communication? Weren't you going to always leave it open so there would never have to be any guessing?
Seems to me that you're coming to the wrong place for your answers re: intimacy.
Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to see you hanging around, it's just that our answers are a guess. Only your wife knows what she needs or what might be missing.
