I hope you have a wonderful weekend! You sure deserve it, and thinking about you together with your family gives me hope.
It was a close call a couple of times last night…re: not getting dragged into his fight. The good thing is that I managed to regain control and tough it out. Most of what he was saying was very painful, (shockingly so) and it did bring me to tears once or twice. He was disgusted by my tears, and ordered me to stop crying. “You can’t even talk without crying.” When I said, “well the things that you are saying are painful to me,” he said “do you think this isn’t painful to me?” Wow!
I also tend to raise my voice when I am upset, and he usually responds by calling me a psycho. I started paying attention to that last night, and I realized that he usually says something, and when I start to respond, he cuts me off by talking over me. So I talk louder. My voice also rises in pitch when I get emotional. So last night, when he started with the psycho label I told him that it was emotion for me. I asked him to stop labeling me, and I pushed my “calm button.”
We did talk about a wide range of things, and it gave me a very strong sense that my H is really off his rocker. It WAS the Alien. He even told me that while he believes in God, he doesn’t believe that he will be able to golf or ride snowmobiles in Heaven. (WHAT?) Life is too short, and when we die we just go into the dirt.
Any doubt that he is in Major MLC was removed by the time we finished talking.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
