I did the same when my stbx came back, I bent over backwards, but it was useless, in his mind he was gone, nothing I did fulfilled him... because he was emotionally empty, an emptiness only HE could've filled, and try to with ow of course, but even now, with ow, he's still a mess, just txted me telling me how he can't sleep & has lost so much weight. It took me a while to realize that his void was not my job to fill.
Originally Posted By: JeffSTL
It's going to be hard to wait a year. At what point can I start dating again, do I have to wait for the D to be final.
Unless you want a rebound R, you might want to wait a year, when you dont' have that yearning and when you are whole, not desperate. Personally I'd be wary of a man trying to date me while his D isn't final (take stbx's ow, he strung her along with that promise, when he wasn't even S nor D was in the future).
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Other D6 complained of being sick last night, crawled into bed with me at midnight, boy she was restless, kicking and rolling around all night.
and that's why I dont' let kids sleep with me, last week I let them and I was up every 2hrs rolling either d5 or s10 or the dog to one side so I can have a spot, lol
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
JeffSTL: It's going to be hard to wait a year. At what point can I start dating again, do I have to wait for the D to be final.
cat03: Unless you want a rebound R, you might want to wait a year, when you don't have that yearning and when you are whole, not desperate.
I know cat, thanks for keeping me honest, wishful thinking, how nice it would be to hold someone and to be held, I know the rules, clean my house first before I move on, I have a lot of house cleaning to do before I invite someone over.
JeffSTL: Other D6 complained of being sick last night, crawled into bed with me at midnight, boy she was restless, kicking and rolling around all night.
cat03: and that's why I don't let kids sleep with me, last week I let them and I was up every 2hrs rolling either d5 or s10 or the dog to one side so I can have a spot, lol
That's funny - I was too tired to take her back downstairs to her bedroom, D6 that was with me, is the smallest, very petite, but wow she is strong, kicking me, pushing me, grabbing the covers. She is my toughest kid, small, petite, girl who typically never gets sick, and stands up to her older sister. she doesn't put up with any crap, tomboy, her twin sister on the other hand is all girl.
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08
Jeff, I look back and recall all of the things that I did for WW. I really did treat her like a princess. My folks and close friends tell me the same. I have heard it here.
Perhaps we did TOO much.
I still did it even when I knew she was "gone".
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Have a good time, Jeff. I'd suggest being fashionably late, with one call or text of "be home soon."
lol! I love this advice.
Have a great time Jeff
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and stands up to her older sister. she doesn't put up with any crap, tomboy, her twin sister on the other hand is all girl.
Isnt' funny how different kids are? it is specially amusing how different your twin girls are, your little one is like my d5, a tough girl, though my little one is huge for her age, but I can see the resemblance, she doesn't take crap from anyone, including her 10yr old brother lol.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
This ring of gold weighs on my mind I was once told this ring meant something This ring once represented hope and love Now I'm tired of this ring of gold. It weighs too heavily on my mind. What does this ring mean now It reminds me of my vows
This ring of gold looks so old. Each scratch and dent represents a battle, a trial some hardship or pain Each scratch or dent obtained through the years represents yet another tear.
This ring of gold once meant something It once meant something special What does it represent now Does it still hold out hope for love or does it just represent pain, sadness the madness of life and bygone days.
I still wear my ring, I cannot explain why Its still means something to me It still means hope and love to me I wear it to remind me of my best friend I don't know how long I will hold on for when it comes off it represents the end
The End
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important. Sorry guys, this stuff just comes out of my head. I was fashionably late last night coming home from softball. W had front door open waiting for me, we exchanged small talk and she went on her way. I had a great time at softball, meeting a lot of new people.(we lost 16 to 9) doesn't matter, we all had fun.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08
that was beutiful J, *sigh* those rings had such meaning when there were exchanged. It was eery what happened to my ring. At the time stbx went back to ow (I didnt' know it) my ring finger developed a horrible rash and I had to take it off and couldnt put it on. After I uncovered the A I refused to put it on, the ring to me meant commitment and love from my then H, I felt he had none of those so I kept it off, and sure enough, 6mths later I uncovered that the A went on after a hiatus. I never put it back on.
I just dawned on me that you are dealing with a double wammy, a S and the A, I had to deal with each of those events separately, and each was devastating on its own, it is a lot to take. Glad you had a good time regardless the outcome = )
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Thanks Cat03 for checking in on me, thank you all, H4H, Puppy, karen, kat, sara, germ, cbk, lwb
Cat03 when I exchanged wedding vows, I meant what I said, one time recently W was asking me why I still wanted her, I told her becasue when we got married, I meant what I said, for better or worse etc.
I feel sorry for my W, she was trying to be the perfect mom in a imperfect world. I truly believe she has OCD Obsessive-compulsive disorder. She cannot handle the little stuff. fingerprints on a mirror etc. I never took advantage of this, just think you're mad at someone and just doing the smallest thing would flip them out, say a glass of ice water on the coffee table - - - with no coaster
I do feel sorry for my W, she is confused, she needs help. Its sad, she does feel pain and its going to get worse when kids are in school fulltime and she doesn't see them everyday.
Well "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" I hear whistling in my head. I'll find love again someday. I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. I'm a stubborn person of German descent.
We all have a long haul ahead of us, good or bad it's the path we choose in life that's important.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
