For the Guy with Kids and a WW4

[hopeful4her]

I think someone alluded or even mentioned that. Hard to tell. Sometimes his posts of his daily goings on seem so backwoods and at others, so clear and introspective. Especially when he is explaining himself. I got to the part that he says that he is published. (Shrug)

On my way to work, I was thinking about dark and detached. I don't know why it is so hard to put hands around it.

On one side, it seems to counter productive to what you want to accomplish. Like, isn't this what got me here in the first place. Seeming to be unconnected? I know that Lost in Space has thought the same. I read about MfromTennessee. His last thinking on GALing and being detached is that WW thinks of him as moving on. That is what it is supposed to do, right?

But the actual end result is not what he was trying to accomplish. He feels she felt better about it. Make it easier for her to move on. He's ok. He's over me.

On the other hand, sometimes you DO feel like it gets them wondering.

It's psychological warfare? Messing with her mind in some way?

Another thought about how we will share the kids. Like every other LBS, the first thing I think about is how me having the girls every other week or whatever we agree to, gives her more time to be with OM. This is a hard thought to keep out of your mind. I know I should be saying so what.

It is mostly the ladies here that have to deal with this daily. Their H's leave and sometimes move in with OW. I know this would just work me. It would be harder if WW has the girls full time. Time with OM would be relegated to just weekends. She did mention how different they are. That is when I started to explain to her how different his is from me. Opposites. That is why he is interesting to her. She mentioned how he is as persistant as I am. In that, we are the same she said. He questions her. When do you get off work? Are you off yet? Where are you? I know he smothers her, too. I have heard hsi VM's. It may have been cute and sweet to start out, but I know it pisses her off after a while. He sounds really needy.


She absolutely hates that. I hope that he keeps that up. It will doom him in time.

My girls are important, though. I want them with me. I have to keep saying to myself, "Let her go. She may come back. Chances are, she won't. Just move on and live for your self and your kids. Try to enjoy life. Get your head on straight."

Then thoughts that invade Jeff's mind creep in. Them together. Him touching her. It takes time. It will go away. It has to.

Someday. Just need to put the blocks in.

WW told me the prior night, that she cringes when I get home.

Cringes. That was nice to hear. I tell myself that it is the situation that makes her cringe. Not me, personally.

But then, I shouldn't give a rats ass.

Her actions say something a little different. She still sleeps in our bed. This morning she came and started on her hair while I was still in the shower.

In the end, that is what I find myself doing. Hoping that OM hangs himself with his questioning her and being needy and my detaching and being somewhat dark with her when she moves out and being a great dad. Being away from the girls a full week at a time will get to her after a while.

It is all I can do.