Journaling: Yesterday was a tough day. S16 was done with his final and called that he completed sophomore year. He was so excited. He went home and not 10 minutes later he called me crying.
A neighbor of ours, who has been known to be rotten to some of the boys in the neighborhood, approached s16 and yelled at him (as he was about to mow the front lawn) about the fact that the lawn hadn't been mowed and the shrubs need to be cut and how he, the neighbor, was going to call the cops on s16 for this.
Well the neighbor walked away and s16 called me. Upset that this is on him. He works, studies hard, takes care of what he can....and these things that the neighbor was complaining about is what H used to take care of. S16 was devistated. He felt he let me down.
Anyway, my dad and cousin went and talked to neighbor. Told him off pretty good and then made sure s16 was ok. He really wasn't ok all night.
I spoke to another neighbor who will do anything he can for me to help me. I asked for him to trim one bush to get this guy calm and when I got back from d13's game last he had done it. I was so grateful. He and his wife also want to help with the pool and bought chemicals.
Anyway, this morning H called. D13 violated dress code (even though it is the last day of school). I told her not to call me if she doesn't pack a proper shirt. She called H..
So, I figured I better tell him about the incident with s16. H had broken up a fight between this neighbor and a 15 year old about 5 yrs ago. I didn't want to tell him to make him feel bad, I just wanted him to be aware and maybe he could help out a little around the yard.
Anyway, I told H the story and his first reaction was that S16 will hate him even more. I said that maybe s16 will realize he does need you....although unless H moves home and fixes our family, I don't know if s16 will ever acknowledge him.
H then started to get his "irish" up and said that tomorrow (he has to work today) he is going to speak to neighbor and tell him not to go near his family. At first he said not to go near my kids or my...you. Then later he said my family. He doesn't know what to refer to me as.
He called me after he dropped the shirt off for d13. Still fuming and still saying he will talk to this man tomorrow. I told him to talk to me first as I worry if he gets physical with him that this man will call the police. I also think my cousin told this man that H is not around and left....so I don't want the man to throw it H's way. Whatever.
I just wish my H would open his eyes and realize that all of his actions have come back to hurt our children. That s16 does not need this. He is a young man who should not have the responsibilities that he does. It is not fair. His father should be home with us and helping. It makes me so frustrated he is not.
So, I guess in one sense I am angry with H ...but in another sense, I have found help with the things I need to fix outside and don't need him as much as I thought. I don't know if this makes sense or not.....
I just wish that H realized that as much as he misses s16....is as much as we miss him. His hurt is no different.
