I'm going to reiterate some things I told you earlier on your other thread.
You have a wife who got burned out on a life that was not turning out the way she expected it to. You both got busy, you got so busy you were gone or occupied alot. Kids came into the picture taking even more time away from the two of you. She tried communicating (albeit not so effectively) and eventually she decided nothing was going to change and that she didn't want to live that way anymore.
My advice to you was to win her back. To court her in a manner of speaking, much like you must have done when the two of you first met and fell in love.
I have to tell you that nothing your wife has said or done since then makes me see this any differently.
Now you have her explicitly telling you that she wants a relationship with you, but that she wants it to be different. That means she doesn't want the "same old" back. Keep that fact in mind always. She does NOT want the old marriage back.
Now, you love this woman. And I believe that she loves the Jonzy she married. You have no reason to believe she has reached out to another man. You have no reason to believe that he is disgusted by you and wants nothing to do with you.
You don't need to be going dark. You don't need to be cutting yourself out of her life under the guise of some "technique" that is going to make you appear mysterious enough that she wants you back.
Correct the patterns of behavior that went wrong, then BE YOURSELF.
If she invites you to dinner, she is reaching out. To play coy or outright refuse sends the message that you either are uninterested or you're just being spiteful.
There is really only one restriction on you at this point. STAY AWAY from appearing needy and helpless by talking about your relationship needs or wants.
You can even ask her out AT SOME POINT, though I think it's a bit too early for that right now.
Pay attention to her, listen to her, read her the same way you used to read her when you were falling in love and she was the object of your attention. You will be able to pick up on when she is feeling open to more time with you.
Interact peacefully with her in EVERY matter. Be flexible, be aggreeable about arrangements whenever possible.
Flippin COURT HER! Do you get what I'm saying? Help her to fall madly in love with you all over again.
When you were dating, if she asked you over for dinner would you have hesitated for even one second? Of course not. So why would you now?
Be you.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
