You wrote: "PS - I thought about what my objective was in sharing my hurt with her, and I came to the conclusion its pretty pointless. Gonna let water pass under the bridge rather than rub each other's noses in the past. There is almost nothing good that would come from it. Just forgive & forget and happily move on."
Glad things are going so well!
The thing is-- at some point you will be able to discuss everything if you give yourself the chance. Over time. You'll know. I once teased my husband that I'm going to hit him over the head with my cane when we're in our 90's for all "he put *us* through".
Many times, although I have "questions" -- the whys, etc.-- I just don't want to ruin a great moment by bring the OP into *our* moment. I can't give more power to OP than they ever had by pretending that she was anything more than a symtom of a sickness in our M. It's making sure he doesn't lose the belief in me and our M again that I'm going for.
When I took responsibility for my part in damaging our marriage, I was sincere. I can see you are also. If we can learn from this and never take our M for granted again, I really believe we can be happier than those who never face challenges at all.
