So much for my nice evening. Dinner was mostly good, but during, H said "I'll be going either fishing, or north this weekend." I said "north?" He meant to the wild party town. I said oh, ok.... well that reminds me, are we going to be doing anything for the 4th?" "Because I would need to arrange for the time off work?" The Alien came alive!

I won't even bother to go into the horrible things that he said. The good thing was that as he was saying them I knew that they weren't true and it only reinforced to me how very wrong something is with him. Some of the things were so far off the mark I had a hard time not laughing. But I managed.

After that initial spew, he insisted that we sit together, watch a movie and "talk." So I did. I was proud that I was able to do that. Part of my strength came from the fact that the things he hit me with earlier were so far off the mark.

Anyway, he said that he does not want to leave the house, and he does not want me to leave, but just go our own way for awhile. He said that I need to spend some weekends away, stop being so glued (?) to him, so that he can be by himself and decide if he will "miss me." He agreed that he would not have any women to our home, and he does not want me out "screwing" (his word) other guys. OMG!

He said that he knows this is not fair to me, but it is how he feels. He also said that he knows there is a guy out there that can make me happier, and that I should think about that. He said that our marriage was in deep trouble before I got cancer; we had some bad fights etc., blah, blah, blah.

I realized this morning that there is a YMCA not too far from our house. I am going to get a membership, and check out a personal trainer. I can’t shop every day, I can’t sit in the bar like he does. This will be good for me, and keep me out of the house.

Hope your evening went better than mine.

Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.

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