Status Unkown

[jon2911]

OK, hopefully you're right, because that would be encouraging I guess.

I understand it might have been shooting her down. When I first started seeing my C back in March, I was ready to quit my job and move to Houston. When W and live close to each other, we can't stay away from each other. At the time, I didn't think there was anything for me here, and just wanted to save my M.

C said that would be a terrible idea. W's family, especially FIL, is the biggest part of the problem here (his conclusion). Last thing I need to do is move there. I need to be stable, be attractive, have a great life here and offer her the chance to be a part of it. Stability is extremely important to W, just like most COA.

The more I think about it, he's right. Maybe 5 years from now I could live close to FIL, and only if he gets help for his anger problem. The judge ordered him to anger management after his D, but he needs more.

And things are really happening here, I love my job and am making a lot of new friends, playing a lot of music, etc. I always hated Houston anyway

If W said "I want to make this work, please move here", I probably would, but that's not what she's saying. At least, not that specific.

[jon2911]

jon,

if I may ask...what happened that led to your divorce getting dismissed?

Hey beauty! I'll hop on over and check out your sitch later today.

W left me 7/27/07. She filed almost immediately, court accepted filing on 8/21. Texas makes you wait 60 days before finalizing, so that took us to 10/21. She still hadn't served me or anything. I gave in, settled with W for $5,000 (just arbitrary number to not make it completely painless for her) and signed the "waiver of service" on 12/21. W then had everything she needed to finalize. She never did. Once I gave her what she wanted, she realized she still wasn't happy and dropped the idea.

In Texas, the court gives six months for a filed divorce to be finalized, then they throw it out. On 3/6/08 the divorce was thrown out.

So, now you can see why I tell Michelle and everyone else on here: divorce is a long process! Filing means nothing. Really, none of this legal stuff is worth getting worked up about.

Our miserable spouses still have to do some genuine work to get a divorce, and most of the time they don't follow through on it. And every step of the way is a chance for more DBing.

[jon2911]

W called last night about midnight, I was in a noisy bar having a great time. I picked up and ducked outside, but she said it was still too loud, and would text me her question.

She texted me a question about how much NutriSystem costs per month. It's a diet system we started a year ago. Why does she need to know that? It's easy to look up online also. I guess she's coming up with BS reasons to contact me, which is good, but she didn't want to talk at all.

Please keep the woman's perspective coming, I can't do this without your help.

[beautyforashes]

Oh okay...I see what happened.

I got my pending divorce case dismissed b/c my husband put wrong info and an invalid grounds for divorce. But if he does file again, whether right or wrong grounds, I will counter-file and let him have his divorce.

It's baffling...I'm pretty sure if he wanted to make sure he was really going to get a divorce that he would truly make sure he would get one.

As a man, what's your take on that?

(sorry to threadjack, you can post your reply in my thread)

As a woman, I believe your wife is indeed coming up with "BS" reasons to call you...she wants that contact. Hearing you or knowing you are responding is fulfilling a need of hers.

I think you SHOWING that you are supposedly moving on and are making a great life for yourself and improving is attracting her to you.

Next time you see her, make sure you look *extra* HOT!

[jon2911]

Next time you see her, make sure you look *extra* HOT!

I like that advice! Will post my man's perspective on your thread.

[JCJ]

Hi Jon

I haven't posted on your thread before but I just wanted to second beautyforashes advice, make her wonder but keep a balance of your goals in mind. If she is contacting you for no obvious reason she is probably intrigued as to your life at the moment.

Good luck!

[jon2911]

Thanks Julia! I guess these contacts are more encouraging than I was thinking.

I wish I was like Michelle and had spies skillfully planted throughout W's friends and family, all reporting back to me

[ms ladybug]

From a women's perspective, I'm thinking about the Nutrisystem question.
You're right, the cost of Nurtisytem is no secret. It's advertised in every magazine, and can be found easily on the internet (she has internet access, right?). Some other weight loss programs, like Weight Watchers, you may have to dig a little to find the cost, but not from Nutrisystem.

For some reason, she wants you to know she's thinking about Nutrisystem...

*she may be looking for a compliment, like "Really? Last time I saw you, you looked great." Be CAREFUL complimenting a woman on her weight. Do NOT do what my h does and say, "why don't you join a gym? Why don't you get some excersize?" Thinking that he's being "helpful".
*she may want you to know that she's taking care of herself. Using Nutrisystem as an example.
*she may be looking to see if your still doing Nutrisystem to. Maybe your weight was an issue for her? She may want to know what you're doing if she sees you've been losing weight.

I'm making speculations without knowing either you or your wife, just trying to figure out that comment. It was meant for a reason, not just to know the price.

[jon2911]

Thanks ms b.

W and I have been texting about a new cell phone. I'd told her to wait until the 15th when a new Centro was rumored to come out, and sure enough it did. Made me look smart. I guess nerdiness is good for something

She texted me at 3:55 AM this morning:
"Guess who's getting a Palm Centro FedExed here on Wed for $0???!!!"

I didn't get it until this morning, and texted back:
"cool! How in the world did you swing that?"

I'm thinking, especially these middle of the night texts, she's looking for an excuse to see if I'm up and want to talk. But I don't know what to make of her response:

"my nunchuck skills, my contortionist skills, my ability to bake yummy delectables and my mad phone sex skills!"

WTF? Obviously a Napoleon Dynamite joke, but maybe the last one explains why I haven't heard from her as much lately. Guess she's back doing the phone thing with OM and he's sending her a free phone.

I tried to keep things light and texted back "that's impressive".

W: thank you, sir. Are you enjoying being a bachelor?

Didn't respond to that one at all. I feel like all of these questions are a test. Maybe she's ticked because I was obviously in a club when she called last week? I guess from a DB standpoint, she needs to know that I'm doing great, but enjoying being a bachelor is different. And I'm not.

A few seconds later she sent me another text about phone chargers and accessories, and I said I'd e-mail her the info.

[jon2911]

Maybe I'm speaking from the place where I got burned...but I'd be very careful about saying things like you are staying in Dallas or whatever. Because if she's fishing to see if you'd be willing to move, she may feel you shot her down.

That being said, I don't think you did.

Sounds like things are still improving overall for you.

I've been thinking about this now that it's a week later. Maybe she was fishing?

When I was planning to get a job in Houston and move, she said that if I did that, her family would get a restraining order against me. I can't believe she actually said that - this was back at the end of March while doing taxes.

Comments like that along with my C's strong advice not to live closer to her family (if we do stay married) effectively killed that idea. I can't figure out why she's asking this now though.