I have thinking about where one goes hunting for "men." I mean if I am going to be serious about dating - well I need to set goals. And my goals have an almost uncanny way of happening...almost like they go on autopilot once I make them. Hope Operation Bulge Elimination is on that track.
Okay being immersed at a conference with 5000 men - although on a platonic level - made me realize that I do enjoy male companionship.
The one thing that the men I have been attracted to seem to have in common is that they are secure, centered and happy with themselves. Ironically, all these men ended up being M which creates a possible paradox - Do men have to be in happy R's to be secure, centered and happy with themselves?
I read post after post on this BB about men that feel so much better AFTER they have met a woman or when a woman validates their attractiveness. It is a chicken and egg thing for me - I find men that do not require validation from me to be attractive...
I am not saying that there won't be mutual give and take validation and empathy and insecurities and all that good stuff once I get to know someone - but when it comes to initial impressions - secure and quiet confidence (not cocky, verbearing and a puffery) is very attractive and sexy.
It is also possible that the men that I find attractive through work - well many of these men are in their element at work and exude that quiet confidence and security in that environment... I don't want a rebel w/o a cause that is off chasing Don Quiote windmills (that is my job - just kidding) - I want stable.
A_O and Almosthopeful pointed out how my last list was a list that was compiled in reaction to The X. I am making the effort to figure out more of an active (as opposed to reactive) list. And I suppose I want that from any man that I date. Dating a man and his XW issues is well - three is a crowd... I don't want every attribute I bring to the dating table compared against and XW - favorably or unfavorably. Perhaps unreasonable - but I really am not into menage trois. I want someone that is healed enough to where the XW has faded into relatively irrelevance.
I am much more relaxed and open than I was a year ago. There is another seminar in Oct with 8000-9000 men - do you suppose there might be just one single one my age that is secure and confident?
Anyway - I won't be going out to "play" yet... I have adoption stuff, roughly 5-6 more work projects to get off my desk and a couple of home improvement projects that are long overdue. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel - my life is slowly but definitely approaching balance and stability. By the end of this month - I will have weekends off like a "normal" person again.
I know - I have this habit of needing what I have to be in order before I introduce new challenges into my life.... And part of this may be " X reactive behavior." The man majored in EE and minored in math - and did his thesis on chaos thery! LOL! I think he was testing those theories in our M!
Anyway to sum up my life at this moment - work pressure is wearing me down a bit. I am catching up but am getting a little tired of the pressure. I am taking time off and working on the physical and mental - which does introduce a guilt element when you are behind...
But all in all life is good. Nothing out of the extraordinary going on.
I mean if I am going to be serious about dating - well I need to set goals. And my goals have an almost uncanny way of happening...almost like they go on autopilot once I make them. Hope Operation Bulge Elimination is on that track. 
