Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
Well, it is done. My sponsor came with me, and we talked and joked while we were waiting. x was alone, looking downtrodden. I don't think he looked at me. It went very quickly, with the judge just asking us if we understood and agreed to all of the agreement. She asked him a few times if he understood that he waived his right to ever ask me for alimony. That seemed to be the biggest deal, but the whole thing took about 20 minutes. No gavel, just the decree that the marriage is dissolved.
Outside of the courtroom, his L shook my hand and wished me the best of luck. He squeezed out a half-smile, but we didn't speak to each other. He was very red; seemed to be holding back tears. Again, I was very much at peace (SUCH a strange place to be after all the drama and emotions I have been through). They left (him quickly via the stairs). My L gave me a hug and my sponsor started to well up! I hugged her, too, we laughed, then went out to breakfast.
We talked for about 3 hours, about everything. Program. How I have changed and grown. How x hasn't. Her life and work, and mine. And how I know that yesterday was ok, tomorrow will be ok, so today was no big deal.
Got home to in-laws, who seemed very nervous about me, then relieved that I seemed so ok. Dad even welled up and said he was proud of me. I told mom that I don't hold any guilt or shame, and I'm still not even angry (I never can stay angry for long at anybody, anyway). I did all that I could and then some, and am content in that knowledge.
Kids got home from school, we visited a bit, then off to their father's for dinner.
Me, I am sitting in my house, knowing that I can now choose to go wherever and do whatever I'd like--the future is wide open.
I am divorced. Not anywhere that I ever imagined I would be, but there it is.
Sounds like you took OT's advice and surprised yourself.
GREAT job Donna. I'm so incredibly proud of you.
((((Donna))))
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Thank you, Nikki, cat, ot, shoe....I am really ok. I think I am waiting for my OWN other shoe to drop, but nothing yet ;0)
Spent the rest of my day relaxing. The school year is almost over--8 more days of work. I spoke with personnel today about the summer sitch. I lost a lot of money due to the "break" I took for my mental health (I had used up all my sick days last year for my spinal surgery). So, my summer check was only about $600--for the ENTIRE summer. And this week starts the reduced support payments from x. The asst superintendent is going to see if he can do anything. Meanwhile, my cousin had given me a check for 5k at the beginning of the mess, just in case. Well, looks like I will need it, after all. More to roll into the refi, I guess. Money doesn't worry me too much--it all works out in the end.
Seems that the heat wave broke, which is a good thing, since I have to clean out two classrooms for the summer. I'll be busy over the next two weeks, then SUMMER VACATION!! I always feel like such a kid, and when August rolls around, I am recharged and ready for my "back to school" shopping for new pencils, etc. I'm loving my life...
I have not followed your sitch. I just noticed that you mentioned on another thread that you have been D less than 24 hours.
I just wanted to stop by and check on you. You seem to be doing great. The actual D is almost anti-climatic compared to all the drama that precedes it - isn't it. For many - it is a relief when it is finally over.
You seem to have a great attitude. Keep taking care of you.
Donna, you sound really good here. Hope you have a wonderful summer and are able to recharge and maintain/grow that sense of peace and sense of self that you seem to have here. Nice, isn't it, when you know no matter what you will be okay?
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
