Well, I thought that it was a decision between decorating or the trip.....I didn't know she got both! No wonder she is excited! However, the financial stress could throw both of you back on your a$$ and have a whole new can of stuff to deal with that won't help the MR at all.
I have two ideas about women wanting to decorate. One is that they watch these channels on TV that get them all inspired about ways they can change the look of there home. Hey, I wanted to buy a huge old house just to make it look like they do on some of those programs. That is all I could think about. But, my H knew there was no way we could afford it and I had to accept the reality of it. So, it finally phased out.
The second idea I have about why women want to decorate and change things around in the house is simply .....boredom. That is why I have tried to get some of the men to read those free email articles that come from the site making her happy. The author really brings that out a lot about how problems arise mostly when the women are bored. It doesn't sound very nice, but the bottom line is......it is true. A lot of A's start out of boredom. Women go shopping and buy things they don't need b/c they are bored. So, according to this author, it is up to the H to be sure she isn't bored. (Just what you wanted to hear...huh?)
Anyway, Lan, I am concerned that you may have bitten off more (or rather your wife has bitten of more) than you can handle. I hope it doesn't cause new problems and frustration for you.
I think I have tried in a poor way at telling you how WAW's don't like to discuss the R problems when they come home. In your case.....you were the one that went back home. So, it may be compounded there. I can't even explain why they don't won't to discuss it except that it brings everything back and that is what they are trying to leave behind. I think it is easier for some women to try to start fresh than to go back and rehash what has happened. Obviously, you have some issues that need to be settled with your W. Perhaps in time, she will be ready to talk about it, but I'm afraid that if you pressure her about it.....it won't go the way you had hoped. You have to continue to use the DB techniques now as much as you did before.
This idea she has about the M will either work or it won't.....concerns me. It sounds as though she is not putting much effort into it and expects you to do all of the work. I read where one of the other men said about the same thing of his W. I don't know if it is b/c they feel that they did work at the M for a long time without the help of their H's or if it is the individual's own thought process. For me personally, it has been very hard to be motivated about "working" b/c that is exactly how I feel. I've told you and others several times about it. However, I don't have the attitude that it "will either work or it won't". If that is the mentality, it won't stand much of a chance unless the H is willing to work his butt off without much effort from her. In other words, somebody has to work or it will fail!
The sex thing......well, gosh, I wish I knew what to tell you. Women are so complicated! We can't understand it, so how can you? There are so many things that affect our moods and energy and feelings, especially about sex. We certainly need that preparaton long before bedtime......the flirtation, the playfulness, or cuddling....whatever she likes. I know you guys get very, very tired of hearing about "homones" all the time....but we hate them too. However, I truly believe that is what governs a woman's body most of the times in her life. Maybe I've told you this......if so, then perhaps John will read it, so I'll say it again (lol). All our lives, we females are either pre-menstral, mid-menstral, or post-menstral. Did you know that I did not realize that some baby girls are born with mild in their little breasts? My baby had small amounts of milk in her tiny breasts! So.....it starts from the time we are born until we die. It is something men will never understand and we don't know how to tell them. It does have a big part of how we feel sexually and I think it has almost everything to do with how high or low our sex drive is. I can tell by some of my medication how it affects me. So, just do the best you can on your end of things.......and pray.....pray a lot. (lol)
I would like to see her stop "screaming" at you. I hate to see any female do that. It is not attractive at all! I can plainly see why she got upset at you for leaving the food in the hot car and taking a chance of it spoiling, however, she should not scream at you. When she does this, if you could just calmly and softly say something to her about how she is too classy of a woman to use screaming as a means of getting the message across. Or......tell her that screaming spoils her beauty and that you would appreciate it if she would not speak to you like that. If I were a husband, I think I would try a few times to use something along those lines to cause her to stop and think that she really isn't being an attractive person when she does that......much less respectful to her H. But, if she continued, I think I would have to have a serious talk to her about it b/c there is no excuse for a wife to scream or yell at her H. As mad and upset as I have been with my somewhat "passive" H.......I know better than to ever scream at him. That is something he does not take. In fact, he doesn't even like it if I raise my voice or have a certain "tone" of voice with him. Anyway, that is something I just wanted to throw around......as if you didn't have enough to think about. You can do all that while you are drilling through those brick walls....lol.
Take care.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
