Update: So yesterday my W calls to see when we could catch up this week to do more car looking, we decided on Thurs. Anyhow I went to counseling yesterday explained my weekend with the W and he thought that I approached things and handled them very well. He says he is amazed at how fast I'm figuring things out, making good moves, but not being to strong. His encouragement helps me stay focused. Now my W always ask me how it went in which I reply that it went very well and that he is amazed. She ask me if I ask him many questions and I told her normally I don't have to many. She ask me if I ask him what to do? I could tell she was asking me this, cause it is what she wants to do with him, but doesn't know where to begin. She has told me that a lot of times her mind just goes blank. Also she has said that she is afraid to ask some questions because she will feel stupid, like she should already know these things. As she talked to me last night she started crying because she feels so lost on what to do. If she wasn't crying she was sniffling and back to crying. I listen to her and she says that people (not me) are trying to tell her things, but she feels like they are putting words into her mouth, telling her her thoughts and she thinks these people are wrong and just don't understand her. Says they see her in one way but she sees herself differently. When I talked to her she sniffled quietly but listened close. I made comments that supported her but I also said things to her that made her see that I understand her, how she felt, and where she was coming from. After talking to her I ask her if anyone else had told her these things and she said no. They haven't told her because they don't get her. Right now she has very and I mean very low confidence and self esteem. I did admit that part of that was my fault for not supporting her like I should have. I did tell her that she is a very strong woman. So she ask me "So what are my strong points?" She is really searching for a lot right now cause she is lost. I did tell her a couple things but she needed to get to bed since it was late. She did say thanks for talking to me. Since we have been apart for 2 months I haven't given her any cards, flowers, or anything of that nature. So here is my idea: I bought a card that is very supportive (without the love yous and mushiness) but just supportive. I want to make a good list of her strong points fold it up and put it in with the card. I was thinking I would give it to her in person tomorrow after we get back from car looking. I will say a pray and hope that she will take it well. I do feel like now might be the time to give her a card and do such a thing.
