Yes NTE - it is weird. That's what I was hoping you would "see".
Um...you see, if you aren't going to be passionately in love with your wife (meaning, you want and desire to kiss her and make love to her and be good to her and on and on...) then well, you really owe it to both of yourselves not to hang in there just for occasionally, dis-passionate sex with a woman you are no longer in love with.
I know you still have some discovery to do within yourself, to find out if you do have enough love for her left inside of you or not. So I'm not saying you should have some answers right now or just yet. You are still a work in progress as far as your feelings for her are concerned.
But I do want to prompt you into CONTINUING to look within, because I'd hate to see you "settle" for something that ultimately may end up in a divorce as soon as the kids are gone anyway. If that is going to be the ultimate direction, then you should really work toward that, and not reconciliation....
Because the example you want to set for your children is that you PASSIONATELY love their mother. If that isn't the case, then don't kid yourself into thinking it is "best" to stay with her "for the kids". They will know you don't love her that way and they will grow up thinking that being in a stale, sexless, dis-passionate marriage is normal. Please don't let them think this!
So - continue the good work - but get back to TALKING and headed toward COUNSELING with her. Otherwise all the good work (and sex) in the world will be meaningless.
