You'll have to forgive my late-night ramblings. I have lots of alone time these days to let my mind wander. I know you aren't excited - the tone in your posts just reminded me of when I first started posting and was exuberant to do just about anything to make my M work.
I know how you feel. I had fallen into a low level depression and rather than saying anything, my W decided to emotionally divorce herself. Or at least, that compounded issues that were already latent in her. Then, of course, she decided to sleep with a coworker, and then told me she wanted to establish a R with him instead of work on our M. So even if she decided to come back it's hard for me to see how we could get past the damage done. I'm not shutting the door completely, but it is time to move on.
I know you miss your family. That's why you have to keep trying, even when things look bleak. You'll know when you have no more to give.
