I just read your thread and my head is still spinning that OW had the nerve to send you that email. My DB coach says that OW/OM are usually without boundaries (obviously they persued a married person) and the email thing definitely screams NO BOUNDARIES! Truly amazing that someone would do that but it makes her seem insecure to me. If she really felt she had him why would she feel the need to rub it in your face?
Hang in there - you are a catch! H's activities are never as exciting as we immagine them to be when we are depressed I think :o) You are doing so good by not calling/contacting him. (((((nlt)))))
Me 32/H 32 M 3yrs/T 8 yrs 0 kids and 1 dog Bomb 5/15/08 - wants to end it to pursue OW Seeing OW and moving out 7/08
Yes, I still can't believe the OW sent me that email! I was so upset!!! I guess it just goes to show what kind of woman she really is!!! I wondered about that myself, why did she feel the need to rub it in my face. I don't believe H condoned that.
I'm doing my best not to contact him. I'm so sad & miss him so bad! It's really hard. I just hope he comes to his senses soon!
PH, Yes, the pups went with me. I don't leave home without them!! I stay with my parents & they always say they go to the dogs when I come home. LOL They have a dog too.
I thought it was interesting that MIL called also. Most of the time when we were together I would have to remind him to call her. So, he may not have but she does know he lives in TX now. So I'm not sure.
I'm so glad you had a great weekend away and that you were able to get your mind off your sitch at least for some time. You have been so brave throughout all this. You can hold your head high knowing that you are a wonderful person and have handled yourself with dignity. Interesting that MIL called - let her contact you.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Yes, I was a little surprised about MIL calling! I won't call her especially after she was so hateful to me at Xmas.
I'm trying to be brave, sometimes I don't think I am. I just keep hoping that I'm going to hear from him soon. I'm also afraid I won't.
I had lunch with a girlfriend today so that was nice. But I miss H so bad tonight. I keep wanting to tell him about my day & just call him. I promise I won't call, but I just want hear his voice.
But I miss H so bad tonight. I keep wanting to tell him about my day & just call him. I promise I won't call, but I just want hear his voice.
I know exactly how you feel. But please do not persue him, and let him contact you. You might not believe it, and I also did not to start with, but with time it will get easier.
I also had a hard time not to persue H as I love him very much, but I did it. To begin with I thought my H would not contact me, however, after about 2-3 weeks he sent his first e-mail. We kept in touch from time to time, although he was living with OW, which I didn't know for more than seven months. When he left, he told me he had nobody else! During all this time I only phoned him once.
I know you can do it as well. Take care. (((HUGS)))
Thank you so much! No, I don't think it will ever get easier, but everyone says it will. I have not called him except after that OW sent me that email thanking me for my H.
When I sent him the IRS refund, I put the note in there "hope you are doing well", I haven't heard a word. He sent me the alimony check after that but didn't say anything.
I haven't talked to him or been in contact with him since the middle of April, we used to not be able to go a day without talking to each other. This is very hard.
I'm doing my best to turn it over to God. I am afraid my H won't contact me, but your H did so that gives me hope!
You seem like such a sweet person and I think you are being so strong. Very inspiring! I bet it has definitely crossed his mind that it has been a long time since you talked. I bet he is surprised that you have not contacted him -- probably not what he expected. I know my H even said to me that he was surprised 'how well i seemed to be taking everything' and he was bothered by it! Like I should be crying in front of him all the time and that would make him feel better (???). Hang in there!
Me 32/H 32 M 3yrs/T 8 yrs 0 kids and 1 dog Bomb 5/15/08 - wants to end it to pursue OW Seeing OW and moving out 7/08
(((nlt))) Hope you are feeling better tonight. I bet your H thinks about you (at least out of guilt). Have you read Bob Steinkamp's "The Prodigal's Perspective"? He mentions there that he thought about his wife alot. Try to stay away from thinking thoughts of things you don't want. Instead, think thoughts of things you want to happen. Because thoughts beocme things, according to the Law of Attraction... I think it actually works!
Thank you so much!!! You seem like a very sweet person too. I don't know how strong I've been but I'm trying. I'm not very inspiring tonight, I'm sitting here in tears.
When H was staying in the same house with me I lost about 30 lbs & he could tell. The night he cussed me out he made the comment that I was hurt innocent little thing just sitting here & that I was a leech & he just wanted to get away from me. I keep remembering that night & I have it on tape (he didn't know I taped that) & it hurts so bad the things he said to me! He did come to me 3 days later & apologize for the language he used, so I don't know if someone told him to do that or if he felt guilty. People say that when they are in MLC that they say & do things they don't remember & don't mean. I just keep hearing it over & over in my mind, things he said & it hurt so bad!!! This happened Jan. 11th of this year, why I'm thinking about it tonight??? I have no ideal why it popped in my head.
I guess you can tell I'm having a bad night!! I try to stay strong but I just miss him so bad & can't believe he treated me like he did. I know he is very upset that I got the house & alimony, I'm afraid he will hold a grudge & never come back.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get into all of this. He was just so mean to me during all of this & I know it's because things didn't go like he planned. He used to have moral values & used to me such a nice person & he also loved me very much. I just hope he will come to his senses & I will hear from him again.
Thanks for being here for me! Just a rough night!!!!
