I didn't say anything to H about the meeting w/ the L. L did advise me to get a new car while H is offering. So I may mention something to H about being advised to get a car. When he asks where I got the advice I'll tell him from an H an see the reaction. The L I saw said H isn't going to file because he is eating his cake and enjoying it. He also said I need to stop being a doormat which is so true.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
don't pay attention to the cake eating comment he made. It's the easy interpretation of the sitch. All WAS tend to do that anyway, unless they are caught in a new steamy R with somebody else...
Why would you tell him that your L advised you about the car? I wouldn't do that. No reason for him to know. K
Don't tell him about the lawyer in the context of the car. That's only going to have a negative reaction and makes you look greedy and mean. Both of which I know you aren't.
Your husband will be in your life forever through the kids. Why poision the relationship forever.
That said, you don't have to be a doormat. That doesn't mean you have to file. It means you tell him how you feel. Clearly and consistently. Be strong. Be firm. Be positive.
Ok,so I won't mention the L and the car in the same convo. Not sure if I will mention the L at all. We are supposed to go back and talk to the Ds' T. I'm sure H hasn't given that a second thought. You know how it is Woog, you just get tired of all there $hit.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
I so completely understand. Be firm with him. Tell him what you want. If its a divorce then tell him. If it's to make up his mind fine. Tell him what you are willing to do. Tell him no more cake. Tell him to get in the game or go home (my old hockey coaches favorite term - he'd be proud).
Then say if he isn't going to decide one way or the other you'll make the decision for him because it's your ball and your game and he needs to play by your rules. Then you can tell him about the lawyer if need be.
But make this about what you want. Not what he wants. You own your own life. Take a stand.
Hockey?! Love to watch it...hate to smell it Actually Woog, I don't know what I want. I still love H, but I want to get on with my life. I have to figure out how all those pieces of the puzzle fit.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Actually Woog, I don't know what I want. I still love H, but I want to get on with my life. I have to figure out how all those pieces of the puzzle fit.