Still trying to be patient 4

[Puppy Dog Tails]

There are some advantages to having a pervy boss: you'll get to have someone grabbing your @ss again since your H is no longer doing it! Remeber, there is always a silver lining! Good luck with the job hunt.

Don't worry I won't look like a hoochy mama, Pup, but I'm a little chesty and can't completely disguise that!

I know what you mean, Karen. The lovely Mrs. Puppy is a certified personal trainer, BUFF, and a 36D. She tries to dress conservatively sometimes, to no avail. Not that I mind much . . .

Puppy

[kat727]

He is just being delusional because he wants what he wants. You know my H is the same way, claims they would do anything for the kids but refuses to come home and be a real father. They just want to play on their own time schedule. Doesn't make it any easier on our end just because we understand it. MLC is not a fun ride for us, hope it is for them because they are leaving a hell of a mess in their wake.

kat

[karen43]

He is just being delusional because he wants what he wants. You know my H is the same way, claims they would do anything for the kids but refuses to come home and be a real father. kat

OK, so you do think I am being logical and H delusional? I have had this talk many times with him and it's like talking to a wall, so I wanted to check on that. If I start being MLC delusional feel free to tell me and hit with me the 2x4 or whatever is needed; I would hate to be MLC delusional foggy or whatever it is (my greatest fear)!!! Karen

[kat727]

You need to try a different approach. You've just been doing more of the same, so you aren't getting anywhere. Maybe for H take off the top and not the bottom?? lol

kat

[No Longer BH]

Karen, IMO H is ONLY looking out for himself. Just think how much better he would look to OW if he were in a nice big apt instead a crappy one because he still has responsibilities to his family. YOU know what is best for your kids, you stayed by their sides and have helped them over come some very hard difficulties. Your H doesnt know because he put himself first, over their need of having a loving complete family. This is his selfishness talking, not his desire to find a better solution for the children. As you said, you have already been down that road and know where it leads. One of my best friends has a S with Asbergers (sp?). She lives in the BEST school district in our state and still had to pull her son out becasue she could not get his needs met there. It is a hard road you are walking, but it is the right path. Dont try and let him push you any other way so that he can get a better deal.

[No Longer BH]

BTW, if he is so concerned about being in a good school dist, why not offer YOU more money so that you can get the better apt for the kids? Food for thought.

[karen43]

BTW, if he is so concerned about being in a good school dist, why not offer YOU more money so that you can get the better apt for the kids? Food for thought.

Well, b/c I think it is a waste of money. We have a nice big house (2600 square feet) that we pay $800 a month mortgage. If I moved to an apt. in a good school district, it would be well over $1000 probably about $1200 to $1400 even for the cheapest one. And I have a cat and 75-pound dog which would be a problem. I figure with the extra money for the apt., tutoring and/or private schools if public school doesn't work out again, that it won't save us any money, could even be more expensive if we wind up having to do private schools. So what would be the point?

The kids and I both enjoy homeschooling, so H just wants to do that so he can live in a pricy apt. I believe, and he thinks it will be cheaper if I get a full-time job (at least for him b/c he won't have to pay much or any alimony) but they only pay about $20,000-25,000 for education in this area and the type of jobs I can get (and lots of competition for them, too), so I think that is one of those ideas of his that sounds good, but when you figure it out, wouldn't save any money and the kids would be stressed out and not getting the special ed they need. (When my son was attending school they basically had me homeschooling him in the nights/weekends b/c he wasn't learning at the school). Karen

[karen43]

You need to try a different approach. You've just been doing more of the same, so you aren't getting anywhere. Maybe for H take off the top and not the bottom?? lol

kat

Wow, good point, Kat! One of those things I can't see in my own sitch!!! I've tried something a dozen times so it's stupid to continue. What would be the solution then? Logical discussion and logical emails don't work with H, so what then? I will take off my top when he is here, I'm serious!, but what to do re: emails? I've gotta think about that! Do you have any ideas??? Just ignore his suggestions to work full-time then; not bother to respond? (Sorry I'm such a dummy in my own sitch but for some reason it's so much harder when it's your own life!) Karen

[Puppy Dog Tails]

You need to try a different approach. You've just been doing more of the same, so you aren't getting anywhere. Maybe for H take off the top and not the bottom?? lol

kat

Wow, good point, Kat! One of those things I can't see in my own sitch!!! I've tried something a dozen times so it's stupid to continue. What would be the solution then? Logical discussion and logical emails don't work with H, so what then? I will take off my top when he is here, I'm serious!, but what to do re: emails? I've gotta think about that! Do you have any ideas??? Just ignore his suggestions to work full-time then; not bother to respond? (Sorry I'm such a dummy in my own sitch but for some reason it's so much harder when it's your own life!) Karen

Karen,

OK, trying to formulate a serious and helpful response to you, after your "taking my top off" comment, so bear with me . . .

When your husband sends you e-mails suggesting something that's preposterous, just respond "Thank you for sending; let's discuss soon." or "Thanks; I'll consider that." Don't ignore them, nor should you jump into the pit with him and argue about the stuff.

I bet 90% of the time, he doesn't even bring it up again.

Puppy

[karen43]

[quote=Puppy Dog TailsWhen your husband sends you e-mails suggesting something that's preposterous, just respond "Thank you for sending; let's discuss soon." or "Thanks; I'll consider that." Don't ignore them, nor should you jump into the pit with him and argue about the stuff.

I bet 90% of the time, he doesn't even bring it up again.

Puppy [/quote]

Thanks, Puppy, I'll consider that! Just kidding of course! I will do that, def. next time! You think it is just to irritate me then (that he does that?) And, so you don't like the top idea???? Karen