Did I diappoint you

[Abbey]

Michelle... little secret... I've struggled with slamming it shut and keeping it opened that 1/4 inch a couple of times already in a week.

Basically... it's symbolic, just as much as it is practical. It's a visual of sorts... and forces you to place some restrictions on yourself of just how much crap and WAS psycho alien BS you'll put up with.

Letting go is what you have to do here. Honestly... the sitch at the moment looks bleak. Just the same though... so did mine 2 weeks ago... and today, I got H asking ME for a hug. (round and round we go). H doesn't like when I distance myself today. Didn't greet him with a hug. Was all business etc etc. I'm noticing more and more that this "dance" is a give and take... we too may end up in divorce... but I'm finding calmness is something that like patience... is on your side here. Time and calmness. Let him rant and pee up a rope all he wants... YOU take what YOU need as far as time, distance and whatnot to decide what to do.

As for the forgiveness... ah man... If told you the story of my sis in law... and what happened there... and what she had to forgive... you'd be surprised. At the time she too said she had moved on, etc etc etc... wouldn't forgive it etc. And YET... they're married today. It was a year of hell for her and she's guiding me through my "hell" now... don't be too sure about just what you think you can't/won't forgive, given the right remorse and circumstances.

This is one more in a line of roller coaster ups and downs. Whatever you choose to do... we support you.

*hugs*
Abbey