Eagle, An affair is so difficult to absorb and it feels like every thread in the fabric of your being, your life, everything you believed in is unraveling. I know, I was there. Maybe you don't want to hear anything right now except you are doing the right thing to get divorced. The only person who can decide that is you. I decided that, too at one point. There were plenty of people around willing to tell me I had every right to be divorced. I even talked to a lawyer and thank God he was a person who happened to be in the midst of a midlife crisis who suggested I wait. I talked to divorced people - lots of them. Friends, colleagues, people I barely knew. There's no shortage of divorce stories. With the exception of one woman who was battered and another whose husband was schizophrenic and refused help - ALL - of them regretted it. Sure, some will tell you what you want to hear at first - but when I dug deep with them I discovered that they ALL talked about the LIFELONG pain of a broken family and how it's far worse than the temporary pain of an affair. Affairs go away - almost ALL of them end. Holidays, birthdays, drop offs and pick ups and separate finances and sold homes and regrets - stay with us for the rest of our lives. This is the reality of divorce. All I'm suggesting is - you don't have to do anything right away. Addie is right - you can ALWAYS get divorced. They are quick and easy. You might not always have the power to repair your family. It doesn't feel like it at this moment - but trust me- you have that power right now. It takes incredible strength and you have it! If you didn't, you wouldn't be on this site and you wouldn't have done what you've done already!! You are in my thoughts, Eagle. You are a good husband, father and person. No matter what you do next - keep that in your mind and heart.
Hey Summerd and Eagle, I was just bopping around these threads and came across this post. This one definitely hit home with me.
