What happened five years ago for you? Has he not noticed the change over the past five? It would seem odd not to percieve the difference between routinely crying in bed during sex to the partner enjoying it.
Have some patience here, there will be some good advice come along here at some point (much better than me). Do remember, Rome was not built in a day nor can 10+ years of damage be changed over night. I have been through this myself (the process of de-sexing the relationship with my wife). Your husband has been at this much longer. On the plus side, you have already resolved some of your issues.
