What I am struggling with is leaving the door open for him, even 1/4 inch, if he ever pulls his head out of his a$$. I am not sure I can forgive him anymore.
I struggled with this too. I think it depends on HOW he comes to you if he ever does pull his head out of his a$$. My H did things I didn't ever think I could forgive, but I am seeing that it is possible.
Forgiveness IS possible when there has been an ongoing effort to have positive interactions with each other. The more time spent with caring, listening, trying to understand each other's POV and what you both have gone through strengthens your empathy and compassion for one another. These conditions are essential for forgiveness.
In Kris' sitch, she is seeing all that, and as long as her progress continues, she will achieve forgiveness.
Right now, Michelle, you're angry. No one is going to fault you for that. While being angry, it can seem as though forgiving someone who has wronged you is damn close to impossible, but you'll get there. If you truly want to heal, you must forgive. Forgive yourself and forgive your H.
(((((((Michelle)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
