Separated 5 years.

[Rusty]

My son is getting married on June 21 - it has been one of the hardest things to try to get to and through. All of my dreams of our family as adults has had to change. I don't know how I will sit at that ceremony without H by my side and not just cry my eyes out. I know I will cry anyway. We sat beside each other at my other S graduation this past Saturday, and then, of course on Sunday I had a complete meltdown. When we are in these family things, I just miss him so much and wish it was the way it is supposed to be.
If your H doesn't show up, I think you need to maintain your detachment. Even more. Will your S show up without him? I would just act as if you didn't really expect him to show and it was a great show, sorry he missed it. How often do you have contact with H? With still having younger kids, I talk with H alot - it is hard to go dark. I am trying to be friends and be friendly and light, but it is so hard. Does your H have OW? I don't know for sure if mine does or not, but I know he is dating and maybe even sleeping with someone. That is the part I can't stand - not knowing. I lead him to believe that I date, which I have once or twice, but it is painful, so I don't anymore. In your 5 years, have you dated? Has he? That is so scary to me!