I am really focusing on the legal aspects of the D. She filed and I cannot stop it. I can can accelerate it by early mediation and by agreeing to waive the mimimum separation time. I can slow it down by forcing litigation. Right now I am trying to get her to agree to early mediation. She was all for that a month ago but now has cold feet. Maybe it is reverse physchology DB.
I would love to stay married and keep my family together but that would mean that she would have to end the A and cancel the D in the next 90-120 days. This is unlikely at best. She is realizing that she will be financially devastated after the D but she is in love and that doesn't matter. She realizes that the kids will be hurt but she is in love and that doesn't matter. She may very well run off and leave me with the kids. It is a 50/50 bet that she will.
The A has hurt tremendously but it has also forced the final detachment. I am confidently moving away from our R and her. I am building strength by focusing on the D details. It also removed 99% of the guilt I had about the D. I am not acting on emotion. In fact, for the first time, I am acting w/o emotion.
The only thing that I can really do at this point is continue to DB and optimize the D settlement. I have not decided to accelerate (which be very anti DB) but may if I get the deal that I seek.
God accepts D for adultery but does not mandate it. He wants reconciliation. I have/am trying but my task was much harder than I knew. I will keep praying and DBing but keeping the D settlement as number 1 priority.
