You are doing everything you can, and if he can't see that, well then it is his loss.
He can see, but the really sad thing is that his perception translates it all into "She's doing everything she can to prevent me from achieving my happiness". Crazy, I know, but I remember in one argument with my H, he had said, "Why can't you just let me be happy and give me a D?!" It was all my fault because I was/am his only obstacle to what he believes will make him happy. I agree that it will calm things down between us, but I seriously doubt he will be happier.
This is my H's lesson to learn, and I believe your H needs to learn it, too. I still believe you should agree to a legal S and get everything squared away in regards to the community assets. Tell him you simply cannot agree to a D right now, but the legal S, yes, you can and are willing to do that. If he gets mean and nasty about it, make him aware that his behavior and attitude will get him absolutely nothing, and you both can continue living the way you have been (IF that's something you want).
(((((((Michelle)))))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
