Well, just so you know....it wasn't right away...but about 4 hours after he made the deposit. Something about his phone call to me just didn't sit well.
I guess it's the same thing as turning over a large rock and finding icky creepy crawlers underneath. I guess it's my fault, cause I looked?
OTOH, I have never NOT confronted him when I found out a lie before. This will make me feel more powerful and in control of myself. My 1st H was quite an accomplished lier, could look me square in the eye and lie to me. That about wrecked me (after 19 years), so honesty has always been pretty important to me. My current H knows that.
I'll just have to focus on the fact that this is part of the MLC. I've also pretty much decided that out of my check I will only deposit the same amount that he did. I have always been generous and the "giver". I have been the primary financial support for the last 8+ years while he worked in his family business. I'm really tired of being the responsible one.
I am going to do something nice for myself.
Maybe next payday he won't have a "short" check.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Sounds good! You deserve to do something for your self. This DB is tough work.
Don't blame yourself, we are a curious folks. When I do it, I justify it to myself by saying that if I don't find anything then it just gives me a greater sense of confidence.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
I did a little bit of shopping before I met my GF for drinks and dinner (both of our H's same golf league). I found a nice sale and got a couple of new dresses and some shoes. I will wear the dresses to work. Part of my "changed up" me. Usually I wear slacks, but have decided to become a bit more "feminine" along with my distancing.
The rest of my evening was quiet. I went home and on my way thru town saw that my H was at the bar. I took my book and went to bed. I woke up around midnight when he came to bed. Woke up again at 3 am and went down to the den to sleep.
He was pretty subdued in the morning (hung over?). But at least no anger or venting. No hug before he left for work today. He shouted out “bye” before he left for work. I shouted bye in return. I’m feeling down. I miss him.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Just a thought on re-evaluating what you are doing. Does your H normally give you a hug before he leaves for work? Do you think he might have acted differently because you have been sleeping in the den? One thing to consider is, if he is going away for a few days on a golfing trip then it might be good to send him away with a "happy" image of you. Something he can think positively about while you are not by him.
I know what you mean, the missing your spouse part hurts a lot
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
He used to, preMLC. Now it is hit or miss. He did yesterday, no contact today.
You might be on to something about the den thing. There is a connecting bathroom to the den, and this morning he did not call out to wake me up like he usually does, but just slammed the door. I also did not make coffee last night, which might have annoyed him. Who knows? Also, my GF's H called us while she and I were at our location and he may have mentioned something about the two of us being "out". Usually she and I sit at my house and share a bottle of wine. Lots of shake ups that he probably doesn't like.
So, I guess I will sort of cool it on the changes for the next couple of days. Maybe go home from work and fix a nice dinner. I would like him to go out of town cool and calm.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Thanks Hope! I appreciate it. I will remain cautiously optimistic, but we seem to be getting back to our old selves.
No problem about focusing on your misery, we all know how tough it can be when we have some rough days....hence the roller coaster ride. Besides, that is what we are here for to help each other out on the bad days and help them get more good days.
I think the nice dinner idea is a good way to send him off on a good note. You might need to plan that a little bit so he doesn't choose the pub over the dinner though. Just a thought
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
I thought I would give him a quick call this afternoon, tell him I have to pick up drycleaning on my way home from work and that I was thinking about cooking something on the grill. Did he have a request?
That way, if he plans on going to the pub he would probably say so, and what ever I fix will be home for him whenever he gets there.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Something about his phone call to me just didn't sit well. 
I just got to keep telling myself to be cautiously optimistic.