What I have been considering is asking him if he thinks we can continue like this and if he says no, then asking him what he is willing to do (and it can be very small) to start to make things better.
I read your posts about the money conversations, and know that for us too, it is quite often how I ask more than what I am saying. I would love to have this conversation with my H in a more positive way, but given that I start crying if I even think about the current situation, I have no idea how to accomplish that.
How about bringing it up to him in a note or an email? I would think that it would be better to do it in person, but if you start crying, then maybe another way would be better. Or you could practice what you're going to say in advance, so you can try to get the emotions out before talking to him.
I know you said counseling hasn't worked for you, but have you tried going on your own? Have you found a solution-based or goal-oriented C?
